Hello Luvlies,

If you have been pondering on anal play but aren’t sure what it’s all about this has been written for you.  There may even be a few titbits for gents who have already experienced anal.

I’ve included a few points worth considering before requesting this anal.


Be realistic about your expectations.  The earth is unlikely to move the first time you try anal play although it’s not totally out of the question.  Your body needs to become accustomed to the sensation of being entered when the muscles in this area are designed to expel.  Sometimes it can take several sessions of including anal play for you to be comfortable with the sensations before you start to enjoy it.

From time to time I am approached by an overexcited puppy who requests that I take them with the biggest strap-on I have.  When I ask, “when did you last experience a strap-on?” I get a “never I’m new to this”.  I will leave you to take a wild guess as to whether they get any further than that…

If you can relax and are comfortable with the sensation it can be extremely pleasurable and in some cases, mind blowing leaving you in a haze with wobbly legs lol.

Everyone is different so not everyone will enjoy anal play despite what the world of porn would have you believe.  You will never know if you will or won’t until you have tried.

Another thing the world of porn forgets to tell you is that you need to prepare properly for anal.


That brings me nicely onto anal prep.  No, it simply isn’t a matter of washing your arse in the shower!  Although I would expect you to properly wash your anus as a matter of course.  A wipe does NOT get rid of pungent aromas.  Separate those butt cheeks and properly wash the whole area with lots of soap and water.  I know lots of you have never done this, you need to start as this is REALLY the minimum expectation and anything less doesn’t hack it.

I digress, back to anal prep.  This involves popping in a suppository and waiting for it to work to ensure your anal cavity is emptied.  Obviously, checking you aren’t allergic or have any medical reasons for not doing so.  After you have emptied this needs to be followed by a proper INTERNAL anal douching using the correct equipment.  Only when the water exiting you after the internal anal douche runs clear are you clean enough for anal play.

I’m happy to help you with this when you arrive just let me know in advance.  Don’t try and blag it.  Quite simply, you won’t do it correctly and could injure yourself or make a terrible mess if you don’t know what you are doing.

Keeping  Safe

You are now squeaky clean and we are at the point of the main event:

I’m not saying I’m an expert, but I do operate in a safe and sane manner and have done some serious research in this area to mitigate any problems and give you the best experience that your mind and body will allow you to have.  Yes, mind too.  Your brain is your biggest sexual organ so if you aren’t in the right mindset or set a mental block you are not going to get the most out of our time together.

The key is slowly does it and obviously lots of good quality lube that is designed for the anal area – not an item to penny pinch on.

The skin in that part of your anatomy is extremely delicate so if you experience any pain, you must be honest and let me know.  We can try different angles, different positions, different toys – sizes, material, shapes etc to find what you enjoy but you need to engage in the process too.  I will be wearing gloves and despite all the toys being thoroughly sterilised they are also covered in condoms.

I absolutely cringe when I see advertising “I will take you with the biggest strap-on until you bleed”!  Really what planet are some people on?  Can you imagine that conversation in A&E:

“Now Mr X how did you manage to get that enormous dildo in your rectum?” (snigger, snigger)

“Oh, it’s stuck, is it? (snigger, snigger).

“Ahh, I see you have lost half of your blood supply” (no sniggering at that point).

“Emergency surgery it is then” (roll of eyes).

Don’t our NHS have enough on their plate without stupidity adding to the burden?  That’s before we even go into the fact that toys that are too big can cause problems with your urinary tract.

Still eager to try?  Hopefully.

Pleasure Zone

If you are suited to anal play the pleasures can be phenomenal.  A deep pleasure like no other, physically and mentally.  There are many reasons for seeking anal play:

  • Simply touching and stroking your (clean) anus can provide some with great pleasure.
  • Enjoy the actual sensation of being opened and filled.
  • Enjoy a vibrating toy to be included.
  • Prostate massage and the mind blowing orgasm that can create when all the stars line up.
  • Enjoy the mind play of being taken anally.
  • If you are searching for humiliation from being taken anally there is nothing to match.
  • If you wish to embrace your feminine side and feel what it is to be entered.
  • Perhaps even a mix of the above.

The above list is not exhaustive.

I hope this helps you decide if anal play is something you would like to experience and perhaps what your expectations are too.

Ms Birch x