Never let it be said that I don’t look after you.  I’ve spent lots of time researching and decided on alternative payment methods for you to pay your deposit showing that you genuinely intend to turn up for a booked session.  Sadly, this industry is fraught with fantasists and time wasters that get off on wasting the valuable time of those superior to them but who unfortunately were born without the balls to attend a session which means a deposit is necessary.  I’m beginning to wonder if the amount of deposit I request ie. £20 for each hour or part hour booked is adequate as my time is still being abused by the unworthy.  I have noted that a 50% deposit is becoming more of a norm and I will consider that on another day.

Selecting discreet, safe and speedy payment methods isn’t as easy as it sounds especially for those of you that can’t risk making payment via your bank account for fear of unexplained transactions, albeit small ones, being noticed.  Personally, I would simply set up a “secret” account with all correspondence going to a “secret” email account and online statements only into which I would snaffle funds into.   Then wahey – easy a bank transfer into my business account could be made without any fuss but paranoia seems to prevail.

Listed below are the methods now available for you to pay your deposit (these will be updated on my website shortly):

  1. Preferred and easiest method bank transfer into my business bank account.
  2. Amazon gift card. These can be purchased at shops and then you simply email or text the code from the gift card or you can make a purchase using your online Amazon account.  Simply purchase a gift card online have it emailed to your own account and then cut and paste the voucher code into an email/text to me.
  3. For deposits of no more than £20 you may purchase a PAYG mobile voucher and email/text me the code or you may purchase one through ATM machine that will automatically load to the number I advise you to credit.

Please don’t request to pay via Paypal unless you wish to be noted as a time waster.  We all know this is the preferred method of the dishonest as Paypal is one of the very few ways that you can reclaim the funds back and cause problems with my account.

There seems to be some confusion but let me clarify it here.  When you go to work you get paid, my work is providing expert sessions for you and I get paid for these.  Nowhere on my website does it state that I offer FREE sessions, don’t embarrass yourself and waste my time by trying to blag one.

On a light note keep an eye on out I will have some spare time very shortly and what better way to spend this time than humiliating you or indeed simply tormenting you so I will be putting up an advance booking discount in due course.


Ms Birch x